For all that I am
by Aviditty
Summary: A dark lit room. A bated breath. A quickened heartbeat. A drabble in which Baek Hee admits her feelings to Hye Mi.


Authors notes:

WHAT IS THISSSSS~ A crappy drabble, that's what. ;P Really though, I am in love with this K-Drama so much. It is my favorite hands down and it reallyreally stole my heart. The characters, the setting, the drama…! Everything. It gives me so much inspiration. I had to write a lil something. What does the DH section have? Maybe 10 fics if that? Not acceptable.

Hye Mi, dear God, she's my fave. My OTP is her and Jin Gook. (My husbanddd~~~) But I really like her and Sam Dong too. ;_; Hnggg. And then after ep 13/14 I was like, "I ship Baek Hee and Hye Mi. Well frick." Ooops. I can't help it. Everyone is just so shippable.

Enjoy this crappy drabble. I am suffering from a writer's block so bad. hope you like it anyways.

~Avies

~ ღ ~

The air in the school was stale and dank as I wandered down the pitch black hallways, my phone being the only beacon in the darkness. I made my way to the dance studio - one of the rooms used for lectures. The door was transparent and I could see through to the other side. My best friend was perched near the far end of the room. I couldn't make out her face, only the shadow of her shape nestled on the floor, glancing into the mirror. I stopped abruptly at the door wondering if I should just barge in. I bite my lip and left out a sigh as I texted the words, "_I'm here_." But I didn't bother to push send. _This is stupid phtt. Just go in, Hye mi._

I gave a little rapt of my knuckles against the door's translucent frame before letting myself in the room. And sure enough my friend's shadow jumps at the far corner of the room and she gets up in a panic. I quickly whisper, "Shh! It's me." Baek Hee visibly loosens up and lets out a shaky sigh but still glances around, expecting there to be more than just me. "You scared me…" Now that I'm here she goes over to the piano bench and perches on it.

"Sorry." I remark, wanting to tease her but then I decide to keep my mouth shut knowing the recent trauma she went through. I soften my voice and meander over to her. "How are you doing?" I feel like I should walk on thin ice but at the same time I know Baek Hee wouldn't want to be babied either. I peer at her in the darkness, the moonlight from the window nearby casting a soft glow on her making her features stand out and make her look pleasing to the eye. Not that she wasn't to begin with but still…

"Fine." Her lips curve into a small smile and she peers up at me with her chocolate eyes. "Actually…better then fine. Things…seem like they will get better from here on out."

I know what she meant by that. The phone call we had hours prior. That moment was a turning point in her life, one that she knew she would never be able to take back. She went to confess about the assault and was scared to death. There was no way I could stop her – she was in a taxi and I was travelling on foot. She asked me sing her a song to calm her nerves and comfort her – the one we both sang to get into Kirin. Since she reported the incident she felt like things would repair and her life would be turned around.

"But…" She gives me a serious, long stare before squeezing my shoulder. "I don't want to talk about that." She trails off as if she's gathering the courage to continue. "I want to talk about us, Hye Mi…"

_Us. _ The words swirl in my head and block out the pounding of my heart. I know we haven't been on the best of terms since we entered Kirin but…we seemed to be patching things up. The last couple of events have brought us closer…even closer then we were before we entered the art school. At least it seemed that way.

"Well." I nod. "Go on. I'm listening."

Baek Hee plays with her hands and let out a shaky sigh as she tries to find her words. The words she's probably rehearsed a billion times while waiting for me, but hasn't been able to say them until now.

She swallows hard and nods but continues to play with her hands. "Hye Mi…" Her voice is shaky so I give her a comforting pat on the shoulder, encouraging her to go on. "I've been an awful friend and I'm so so sorry for all the things I've done. I've done horrible things to you…" Her hands are shaking and there's tears glistening in her eyes. "I never meant for our friendship to get severed like this. When you shoved me aside like you did on the day of the auditions I was so hurt, so devastating… Looking back, now I know why you did it and I don't hold it against you but…it still hurt. And I was foolish too. I knew nothing of how to be anything but your shadow. I…adored you, Hye mi. I looked up to you. So when you cast me away like that I…"

She pauses to catch her breath before unwinding the tale before me. The flashback of our past lives playing before me like a movie on the silver screen. She was my shadow in every meaning of the word. Hye Mi Bba. That's what people called her. She dressed akin to me and did everything she could to gain my approval. She, simply put, adored me. But things we hard for me, things I couldn't explain to her for fear of tainting this perfect image she built of me. I couldn't afford to have our friendship get in the way of me making it into Kirin's Art School. Not when my little sister and I were walking on thin ice because of my father's foolish antics. If I didn't make it into that school and prove that I was worthy of talent then my sister and I would have been cast upon the streets. I couldn't have that happen. I would have died trying then give up. And so I cast Baek Hee away, and in the process, severed our ties and we became rivals/enemies. It was selfish but I needed to protect my family.

Silence filled the air and I was so absorbed in remembering everything that when she spoke up again, I gave a little start. "I vowed to show you how amazing I was." Her voice was firm and she was now staring directly into my eyes. "I wanted you to notice me. I wanted to stand out and cast away that image of _Hye Mi's little shadow_. I wanted to become my own person that you would come to notice. I wanted you to see me…"

Her face is contoured in a series of emotions: agony, heart ache, and shame etched within but there's a kindling fire in her eyes. A passion. I never noticed these things before because I was too caught up in my own life and worrying about myself.

"Hye Mi…" Her breath hitches and she swallows hard. "I never meant for it to be this way. I just got so caught up in wanting to impress you, and to cast away my old image that I got so….so obsessed. I…was a fool. Pathetic." She chokes on a sob now and clenches her fists. "I'm sorry. I put the tack in a classmate's shoe. I threw the flower pot to harm you… I stole that song because I couldn't compose my own…It was all me."

I knew all of this but I still listened to her with open ears. She was dying inside, so hurt, so ashamed…I wasn't sure if there was anything I could do to tell her things would be alright. I was awful with words.

"And yet your still here." She laughs, but it comes out forced and fake, combine with her tears starting to fall. "I always said I never had anybody supporting me. You've always had all these people that care and support you. I thought I had no one and I was jealous. But then I realized…I have you. You've been by my side all this time supporting me when no one else did. Even when I wronged you, you still supported me. You firmly believed that I wasn't some kind of monster. You…You were so kind. Hye Mi I was so awful."

"Hush." My voice was an echo in the darkness. "Stop apologizing, Baek Hee. It's all in the past."

"It may be, however…" She swallows hard and her eyes bore into mine. There's a fire in the depths of her eyes and a fierceness in her soul. "There's something that hasn't changed…"

"Eh?" I ask. "And what's that?"

A pause in the air. A soft breath. A heart aflame.

"That I love you."

My heart slams against my rib cage and I swallow hard. Surely she didn't mean it that way? Baek Hee…she couldn't feel that way could she? Had I been so blind, so oblivious to her affection prior to our split? But the dark eyed girl didn't miss a beat or falter. Her eyes bored into mine. "My feelings for you never changed."

It's as if the air in the room got switched with carbon dioxide. I can't breathe. I'm swallowing hard, trying to think of something to say while Baek Hee looks over me cautiously as if I'm an animal ready to spring. Her eyebrows furrow in worry but she's good at keeping calm while I mentally prepare myself for what to say. What should I say? Baek Hee, I've got two other people who like me too and I just don't know what to do. Can we talk about this later? But that makes me sound selfish and catty, which I am but that's beside the point.

"Feelings?" I blurt out trying so hard to choose the right words but failing miserably. Smooth. Oh so smooth.

"I like you…more than a friend, Hye Mi." A scarlet blush tickles her cheeks, and the moonlight causes the shines in her eyes to shimmer at me as if she's staring into crystals. "You've made me into a better person, helped me realize that the way I approach success is toxic and you helped me change it. When push comes to shove, you've always been there to give me a little push and sometimes a shove when I deserved it most. Even at first when I thought you were just being cruel, you were being blunt and helping me in your own little way. I will never be able to forget that."

She licks her lips out of nervousness and laughs softly. "You probably think I'm foolish, don't you?"

No. I shake my head and gently cup her chin. I don't know what I'm doing but I know I don't care. I won't regret this. I never regret things. Life's too short for that. Right now, all the matters is that my best friend has poured her heart out to me and I'm going to return the favor. Even if it doesn't mean something later, it does mean something _now_.

"Shhh." I whisper, gently putting a finger to her lips. She looks confused, bewildered at the touch of my hand. I tilt my head and lean in to capture her lips against my own. I feel her stiffen in surprise against my body but she softens and melts beneath me, responding to the kiss. I was always better with actions rather than words, even if my affection was awkward and badly timed. I thought it'd be better to roll the ball then to have looked back on never getting anywhere with it.

She moans a soft mewl as we part and she opens her eyes to search mine. Her eyes won't stop shimmering and she whispers my name but I just silence her again with a tender smile. "Let's walk you back home, okay?"

It was getting late and she knows that her mom would worry so she complies. As we leave the building she reaches for my hand, shyly taking it in mine like we used to do when we were close. I give her hand a gentle squeeze and lead us down out of the Kirin campus.

"Thank you." She whispers through the dark of the night. "Even if it doesn't mean anything it still makes me happy."

We have all the time in the world to figure out our lives. This was a just small stepping stone that could very well become a bridge in both of our lives. Only time could tell and I wasn't going to rush into it. I wanted to take it day by day and see what path I end up intertwining with. Regardless I know deep down in my heart that we will forever remain apart of each other's lives no matter what.


End file.
